Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~Dorothy Bernard
My mom was admitted to Davis Hospital's ICU this morning for stomach bleeding and excessive vomiting. She is receiving a blood transfusion, which should make her feel better.
When blood platelets are low, excessive bleeding is always a concern, hence the transfusion to help staunch the blood flow. That's the last update I got from my dad.
She has been running a fever on and off for the last few days, a side effect of erbatex (the supplemental drug she's been on). Her nose has been running blood for the past few days. the blood that doesn't come out her nose has been dripping down her throat and she's been throwing it up. The pimples on her face (another side effect) turned into bloody spots and her mouth is lined with little sores. She hasn't been sleeping at nights and only cat naps during the day. Because they unhooked the stomach pump because is made her bleed, she's been throwing up a TON and can't keep anything in her stomach (even the ice cold sodas she's taken a liking to). She became dehydrated over the weekend and was hooked up to more fluid IVs to help. Last night, her blood pressure dropped and they have her a third IV of fluids. This morning her stomach was bleeding and so Dad took to to the ER where they admitted her.
She's been making comments about how she doesn't know how long she can take this anymore and how she hates sitting around all day wondering how long she'll be here.
She hates that I write updates on a blog because she doesn't want people to know how bad things are looking, but this is a coping strategy I have and I think others (especially family) need to know what's going on so they aren't shocked when the end inevitably comes. So, please don't mention the blog if you talk to her!!
Other than Will, the other six of us have been getting promptings that the end is coming and we need to enjoy the time we have with her. I've been crying everyday for a week and subconsciously writing my talk for the funeral (I'm assuming that as the oldest I'm going to have to talk). I'm hoping she'll be around a long time-- if she gets better-- otherwise at this point, it's selfish to want her to stay when everyday is a misery to her.
Dad is holding out for miracle and thinks that the doctors just don't have enough faith. I hope he's right.
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
In time of test, family is best. ~Burmese Proverb
3 comments:
Oh Adrienne, I think my heart jumped into my throat and tried to escape when I read this. Although your mom doesnt like to worry anyone, THANK YOU for keeping us updated. It is SO hard to read and imagine your sweet mom going through this (and of course you guys experiencing it) but I do think its important to update and remind us to pray/fast for her.
I had a memory of your Mom the other day. I have been wanting to tell her myself, but I just havent had a chance to come visit. I remember when we had just moved back from WY and my Dad was still up there. My mom was working all of the time, and you guys had come down to visit from Florida. As soon as you guys got here, you and your Mom got to cleanin the house! She knew that my mom was so busy that she didnt even think twice and started cleaning our oven. I dont know why that memory stands out so much in my mind, but I think its because I knew my mom would appreciate it, and showed me how kind and giving my Vancomen family is.
We are continually thinking and praying for you guys.
LOVE YOU!
Take care of yourself. This is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. I hope you got my last email. And you might not feel like singing in the lifeboats for a while and that's okay.
Oh Adrienne.....I haven't quit thinking about your mom since we took her to chemo on Friday.....the short time I spent with her I feel like I was so lucky, blessed, inspired, and yet at the same time my heart broke to see her go through what she is and has been going through for so long....anyone that knows her are lucky to have her in their lives... I can't even imagine what she and your family are going through....like she kept saying on Friday....life is crazy....My hopes and thoughts and prayers are with you all.....
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