Romeo and Rosaline

Here's another reprint of something I wrote in January when I thought I'd lost another good guy friend... turns out it was a false alarm, but this resonates with so many single girls that end up in "the friend zone" from which there is no escape.

"Romeo and Rosaline" There's a Reason that Didn't Work Out!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 at 7:30pm |

In Shakespeare’s play, “Romeo and Juliet” there is a little-known character by the name of Rosaline. At the beginning of the play, Romeo walks around in a daze thinking about this girl with whom he is in love, “I do love a woman . . . she is rich in beauty . . .she is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair to merit bliss by making me despair.” Even gentle chiding from his friends does not end Romeo’s languishing for love, “What doth her beauty serve but as a note/where I may read who passed that passing fair?” Romeo’s love is so great for this woman that, although she is a Capulet, and thus an enemy, he reaffirms how beautiful she is, “One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun/ ne’er saw her match since the world begun,” on his way to the Capulet’s party where he will see her again.

When Romeo falls for a girl, he really falls for her! What woman wouldn’t like to be told that the sun has never seen someone as beautiful as she is?! Pure poetry and oh, so flattering!

In my life, I have been, not loved necessarily, but liked a lot and have been told some pretty flattering things, too. Things that make you believe think that THIS guy really does like me and is good for my sometimes bruised relationship self esteem.

There is a lesson in the story of Rosaline and Romeo, however. What? You’ve never heard of this story? That’s because once Romeo arrived at the Capulet party and saw the amazing Rosaline, he also saw Rosaline’s younger and even better looking cousin, that's right: Juliet! Suddenly, Romeo exclaims, “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!/ For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”

And that my dear friends, is the end of Romeo’s obsession with Rosaline and begins his ill-fated worshipfulness of Juliet.

The lesson is that no matter how much a guy likes one girl, the moment something hotter, cooler, trendier, smarter, etc, etc, etc, walks by, his mind can change like that and the original object of his desire is now a long forgotten memory.

At the end of the day, the Juliets of the world get not only the story, but also all the fame, the glory, and the weddings. Some of us, like Rosaline, get left behind wondering what we did wrong to be suddenly and inexplicably ignored.

If there was a poster girl for Rosaline, I would be it for, yet again, I have found myself left alone on the weekends and ignored during the week because the guy who professed to really like me and to really like dating me has moved on without any sort of warning or opportunity to prepare myself. If there was some sort of warning system, like those tornado sirens they have in the Midwest, I could have braced myself and gone into hiding until the emotions of being ditched had blown tortuously over leaving me with the barren landscape to clean and fix back up. Instead, I weathered the storm, wondering everyday if today was the day he’d call or text; wondering if this was the weekend he’d ask me out again; wondering if I should call and see if he’d lost his phone again. . .

Too bad Shakespeare didn't say what Rosaline did after Romeo moved on :)