Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there.  ~Author Unknown

Went by myself to see Mom today. She's back on a liquid diet because she can't hold anything down. Her scar split a bit at the top when she threw up and started bleeding. Her scar at the bottom started bleeding because her abdomen is starting to fill with water again. So, she's bandaged back up and in some pain. They're injecting pain meds into her IV port because she started throwing up her other meds, but a problem is that what they're injecting also makes her throw up.

The poor thing just doesn't know what to do.

They took 5 blood samples this morning to test and compare with her original blood results to see if anything has changed. They plan on doing a CT tomorrow, providing she can drink (and keep down) the barium required to make a CT work. Someone thinks that she might have breast cancer so they're also going to do a mammogram to check for that. Surely, in a hospital of cancer experts, someone, somewhere can figure out what in the heck is going on!

I've cried more in the last 24 hours than I did in the last few days. I guess I'm mentally preparing myself for the possibilities of death and a miracle. What really got to me was when little bro sat down on the top of stairs before going to bed last night and asked me, "What happens if the cancer spreads before it gets stopped?" I figured it was best to just tell it like it is and I said, "Well, it takes over everything." At that point I started crying and he just sat there in silence looking at me and then silently went to bed.