did you know that when you leave a pile of wet Kleenex on the floor at midnight, when you wake up at 6am, they will still be wet?

Yes, I agree, pretty gross. But also a sad commentary on one of the truths more than one sister and I now share.

Friday, we took Mom to the cemetery to show her the plot Dad and I found to get her approval and to verify that it's actually available. Talk about sad: Mom looking at the little piece of earth where her body will soon lie. Dad has been agonizing over this decision because, "it's just so final." But, today, he went and purchased the plot just to make sure that little piece has been taken care of. The final decision about the headstone is also being made and final arrangements with the mortuary will be done tomorrow, as well.

Mom has enjoyed receiving a variety of phone calls, cards and visits from people the past few days. Yesterday was really hard to watch my grandma say good bye to her daughter in law and my aunt say good bye to her sister in law and try to comfort her brother; that's the hard part-- all the good byes. The Hospice nurse comes over every evening and everyday there have been people over visiting. Relatives, long lost friends, neighbors, stake people... you name it. The girls' friends have been bringing over cookies and things.

Laurel arrived today so now all seven of my mom's kids are in Utah. Saturday six of us were together and tonight six of us were together, but tomorrow afternoon, we will finally have all of us together and we'll get the family picture my mom has been waiting for.

Tonight for FHE, Dad read us a talk by Brent L. Top (click for the link to it) that was given to him on Saturday. It was hand delivered by a man who acted as a witness when Mom and Dad were sealed in the SL Temple. The talk was highlighted and Dad got it so he read through it with us and it was incredible. Dad started by saying, "There is a saying that when there is an elephant in the room, it means there's something that everyone knows but no one wants to acknowledge. We have a large elephant in the room... and I hate it. (he broke down at this point) We have to admit that Mom is not going to be with us much longer and we have to talk about it." We all started crying and passed the Kleenex boxes around. Then, we read this talk with A.MAZ.ING quotes about death and the Spirit World. What was amazing is that as we read about how wonderful the next life is and how if we were to see the Spirit World, we would never want to leave and how there is no hunger or pain or being tired or thirst or unhappiness, Dad looked at Mom and said, "I bet this sounds pretty good to you right now, doesn't it?" I felt like we were finally giving her permission to leave us. The beautiful truths about the plan of salvation felt so real and tangible during the hour we listened and talked about death; I have never felt so much peace when talking about death before.

One of the quotes in the talk was by Elder Maxwell and was the most profound thing I heard tonight:

On the other side of the veil, there are perhaps seventy billion people.  They need the same gospel, and releases occur here to aid the Lord’s work there.  Each release of a righteous individual from this life is also a call to new labors.  A mortal life may need to be “shortened” by twenty years as we might view—but, if so, it may be done in order for special services to be rendered by that individual in the spirit world, services that will benefit thousands of “new neighbors.”  Those who have true hope understand this.  Therefore, though we miss the departed righteous so much here, hundreds may feel their touch there.  One day, those hundreds will thank the bereaved for gracefully forgoing the extended association with choice individuals here, in order that they could help hundreds there.  In God’s ecology, talent and love are never wasted. 


In wrapping up, Dad talked about the shortest verse in scripture, "Jesus wept." Jesus wept over the death of his friend, Lazerus. Jesus, the Son of God, the Man who knows what happens after death, wept over the loss of his friend and the pain of Mary and Martha at losing their brother. Jesus knows the pain my family is going through by losing our mother so soon and at such a young age (she's only 52). This knowledge doesn't diminish the pain I literally feel in my stomach and the thought of Mom no longer being physically here, but it gives me confidence that we, I, will get through this.

My parents have such total faith that they will be together again and that the covenants they made in the temple are real, and while the pain they feel at losing each other right now is heartbreaking to watch, we will be ok.

Mom is so uncomfortable and so tired and after tomorrow and seeing all of us together again, I don't know how much longer she will hold on. I think she's ready to go and see her parents again.