angry beaver

Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. There are many other emotions under the anger and you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself and your loved one who died, but also to God. You may ask, “Where is God in this?
http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

Just to clarify: I'm not asking God where He is in all of this. But, that being said, this is where I am...

I'm mad Mom isn't here to talk to and get advice from.
I'm mad she isn't here to tell stories to.
I'm mad she's not here to be excited for me as the BF and I move ahead in our relationship (11 months, people!).
I'm mad I can't talk to her about her feelings about being married and if it's worth it.
I'm mad that people keep telling me that I should be happy.
I'm mad that I feel selfish and just can't physically/mentally take care of everyone like I used to.
I'm mad that I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and taken for granted.
I'm mad that I don't know what to do for my other siblings.

I'm mad that it hasn't even been two months yet and I literally feel like we should at next July already... these have been the longest two months of my entire life.